Parental Concern

Torah Thoughts on Parshas Beha’aloscha by Rabbi Daniel Kanter, Rebbe and Director of Student Affairs, HTC

"הֶאָנֹכִי הָרִיתִי אֵת כׇּל הָעָם הַזֶה אִם אָנֹכִי יְלִדְתִּיהוּ כִּי תֹאמַר אֵלַי שָׂאֵהוּ בְחֵיקֶךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר יִשָׂא הָאֹמֵן אֶת הַיֹנֵק עַל הָאֲדָמָה אֲשֶׁר נִשְׁבַּעְתָּ לַאֲבֹתָיו"  בְּמִדְבַּר י''א:י''ב

“Did I conceive all these people, did I give birth to them, that You should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries an infant,’ to the Land that You swore to their fathers?”  BeMidbar 11:12

As any parent knows, raising a child is invariably a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. From the highs of seeing a child learn, participating in their Chumash play, and finishing their first masechta, to the inevitable sicknesses and failures that, with Hashem’s help, ultimately cause them to rise higher than before. It is axiomatic that the opportunity to raise a child is one that we, as Jews, strive for. Presumably, as the “parent” of Klal Yisrael while in the wilderness, Moshe Rabbeinu was no exception.

Yet, in Parashas Baha’aloscha, Klal Yisrael complains about the lack of “real food”, as they had nothing to eat except for the manna. This was not the first time Klal Yisrael complained, and as we know, it would not be the last. However, Moshe Rabbeinu’s response in this instance is curious. Rather than defending or reprimanding Klal Yisrael, Moshe seemingly complains to Hashem, claiming that the task of "parenting" Klal Yisrael was too difficult and too heavy a burden for him alone to bear. Why is this Moshe’s response to Klal Yisrael’s grievances?

The Sforno brilliantly explains the nuance in Moshe’s question. According to the Sforno, Moshe is not complaining but rather stating a psychological reality about the situation in the wilderness. In a typical family structure, children know that their father loves them. Therefore, even if there are deep disagreements between father and child, there is at least a basic level of trust, if for no other reason than the fact that the parents birthed and gave life to the child. However, at this point in time, Klal Yisrael did not have that level of trust in Moshe Rabbeinu. As a result, instead of seeing Moshe’s efforts and entreaties as good-faith attempts to help them, they constantly tested him, poking and prodding to see how he would react.

This level of trust between a father and child applies in chinuch as well. In order for one to teach effectively, the students need to know that the Rebbe has their best interests at heart and trust that even when the Rebbe gives a consequence, it is coming from a place of love and a desire to see the talmid grow.